Contiplating

I sit here trying to figure out my fathers side of my family and I really feel lost... Its one of those things that I cannot really shake I know people say that its good for me not to know who he was or what it would of been like to know him but in reality there is a big void in my heart and i dont know how to express that to anyone at all... Its one of those things im keepin to myself but I really juss need to let go and find out where his family is that is left.  That is my goal at the current moment